you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
