my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
