worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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