i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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