I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
