cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
