Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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