i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
