a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish i was in the wii world.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
