I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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