I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
