theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
