you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The air taste purple.
Randomize
