just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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