Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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