Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
