Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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