i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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