I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm passing your future prison.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
