Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
