hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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