watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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