This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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