And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
