i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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