Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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