I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
