I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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