Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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