peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
