dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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