NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
