my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
