the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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