i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
