I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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