your room smells of hookers.
And success
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
