i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize