I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
