I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize