yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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