I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This toilet bowl is my home.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
