I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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