You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
