so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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