I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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