I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
