he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize