your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
