I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
