Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
