Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
