So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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