And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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