I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
