so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
