These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
zippers are such a cool invention
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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