Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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