Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
And then he peed in my hair
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