ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
