have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
